Very few movies cause me to put finger to keyboard. Earlier this year “Creep” was so moronic that I had to purge myself of all bad thoughts about the movie by putting them into digital form. An exorcism if you will.
Recently, we (that’s Debbie and I) took a trip to the cinema to see “Bewitched”.
Unless you’ve been living in a cave, you’ll know that Bewitched was a US TV sitcom about a witch who married a mortal and all the ensuing hilarity. I must admit that I’ve only seen a handful of episodes of the original TV show so I had no strong preconceived ideas on how the movie should or would be like.
I’m a Will Ferrell fan. I loved “Anchorman” where he got to run wild; ad-libbing and improvising most of the dialogue and indeed for most of the story. I loved his “Frank the Tank” character in “Old School” and all of his other smaller roles (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Starsky and Hutch, etc). He’s absolutely at his best when he’s allowed to go nuts and run off 100 takes of the same lines and the best is picked.
The first problem with Bewitched is that he’s hopelessly miscast as Jack Wyatt; a loathsome, egotistical, idiot actor whose career is on the slide after his last two big budget (and somewhat indulgent) movies flopped at the box office. He’s neither playing the straight guy nor the funny guy. He’s forced to stick to the drab and lifeless script with no room for his trademark improv or face puckering. There are two scenes that I can remember laughing at and both involved Will Ferrell running his mouth off and ad-libbing. The scripted “jokes” raised a smirk at best.
The second problem is with the script. It’s just too confusing. Instead of going for a straight remake, the Ephron sisters have created a complex “story in a story” plot which, on paper, was probably very clever and inventive. We have a curious situation where Will Ferrell is cast as Jack whom is cast as “Darrin” in the remake of Bewitched which is about a studio remaking Bewitched. Isabel (Nicole Kidman) is actually a witch whom is cast as “Samatha” whom is a witch in Bewitched. No one knows she is a witch apart from her father Nigel (Michael Cain). Although in the TV series which is being made inside Bewitched it’s her mother “Endora” who pops up now and again not the father. But then in the remade TV series which is the film it’s Michael.. er Nigel who is popping up and not Shirly MacLaine.. er Endora.
Confused? Me too.
It gets worse as the movie develops. “Uncle Arthur” appears near the end of the movie and we’re never sure if he’s a figment of Jack’s imagination (as Uncle Arthur from the original TV series) or he’s Isabel’s *real* Uncle Arthur. Aunt Clara turns up for a bit and it appears she’s Isabel’s *real* Aunt Clara and not a figment of anyone’s imagination. Conveniently, Aunt Clara was also a character in the original TV series - although not in the remake of the TV series within the ..er.. movie.
Shirley MacLaine and Michael Caine are wasted on a confusing sub-plot which never amounts to anything and just irritates. The movie runs for 104 minutes and their combined 20 minute screen time could have been cut nicely from the movie and no one would have noticed. Michael Cain’s character has some small narrative which helps move the story along but otherwise his dialogue is mostly just fluff.
There is also a pointless sub-plot with Jack’s ex-wife. I really, really can’t see why 8 minutes of the movie was devoted to a few scenes which did nothing for the story. It was ‘rewound’ later on by Isabel anyway.
Ferrell’s character Jack is a little confusing. At the start of the movie it seems that he’s a genuinly nice guy who is receiving some bad advice form his manager. His manager talks him into being an asshole and demanding that the remake is tailored towards him and not the character of Samatha as the original TV series. It’s unsure why Jack’s manager is even in the movie. I think he had some sub-plot about getting a kick-back behind Jack’s back for getting Jack to agree to playing the part of Darrin as we “overhear” part of a telephone conversation he has with the studio remaking the series - but it amounts to nothing and distracts.
Personally, I would have found it easier to understand that Jack’s character is an ass until he meets Isabel and not because his manager makes him so. Another 15 minutes could have been saved by cutting out the manager’s part too. For most of the movie he’s just a cloying sycophant that serves no purpose.
The real highlight of the movie is Nicole Kidman. She’s perfectly cast as Isabel and brings some magic to the movie. It’s just a shame that she’s wasted on a drab script with a convoluted plot and forced to struggle along with a neutered and miscast Will Ferrell.
For me, I lost the will to live when about 20 minutes of the movie was rewound by Isabel. A certain chain of events had been set in motion which was pretty important to the plot and set the movie off in a different direction. Isabel decided she didn’t like the way that it was developing and cast a rewind spell. You were treated to watching the last 20 minutes again, in reverse at 20 x speed. Fantastic.
I really wanted to like this movie. I really wish I could rewind this version and convince the Ephron sisters to cut the crap, stop trying to be clever and just do a straight remake. I actually think Will Ferrell would have done a fantastic job as Darrin - and, the few scenes you see of the remake being made are actually funny. But alas, we’ll never know.
About an hour into the movie I had to fight the urge to walk out of the cinema. Not in a “find me the nearest cinema usher so I can beat him with my ticket stubs” kind of way. It was more akin to when one stares into space long enough. You eventually snap out of it and decide to do something different.
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