With twenty weeks, the half way point, in sight I find my thoughts filled with how we’ll adjust to life with a newborn.
I’ve had almost twenty weeks to think about this but it becomes more and more real each day. Indenti-kit images of a grinning gurgling baby staring up at me are being replaced with the impending reality. While we’re out shopping I take a sly glance at baby clothes and try to imagine them in the context of our lives; filled with our grinning gurgling baby and then spinning in the washing machine. It still seems amazing that we’re going to have a baby. This simple truth still makes an emotional impact when considered.
I have secret fears. I won’t even get into the fear of feeling nothing when our newborn is presented to us in the delivery room, that’s just a ridiculous thought, isn’t it? It’s obvious to anyone that a newborn is a lot of work especially as we’ll be training on the job. Nights broken with the piercing cries of a newborn and mountains of dirty nappies. Chores of love, but chores nonetheless. Unconditional love is strong, but will I feel the same when I look down and her face is twisted from an hours screaming?
Overly dramatic philosophy aside, it feels good to be at twenty weeks. Once we’ve had our anomaly scan we’re going to start our shopping. Although that in itself is a huge and daunting task. There’s a lot of buy and prepare in readiness for a new life. I’m really looking forward to it.
First, we need to clear out our ‘spare’ room and get it painted and carpeted so we can move the office, and then make the office a nursery. Anyone good with a paintbrush?
We’re going to have a baby. We’re really going to have a baby.