On Saturday night, Debbie and I went to the Christmas lights switch on in our city centre. It’s something we do each year with Debbie’s sister and her children.
This event is held in what is called Cathedral Square. Unsurprisingly called because it’s a square outside the Cathedral walls flanked by shops and the local shopping centre It’s usually a busy event made worse this year by an ice-rink taking up valuable space which forced the crowd back further towards the shops.
At one point Debbie and I decided to go for a walk. We were waiting for her sister and Debbie is starting to suffer with pelvic pain and walking sometimes eases that. We got through the crowd easily and reached the shopping centre before learning that her sister had arrived and was waiting for us the other side of the crowd with a good view of the stage.
We made our way back and noticed the crowd was much thicker as it was nearing the time for the main attraction. We began to make our way through. I decided to go first and try and clear a path for Debbie, who had hold of my hand behind me. Unfortunately, several hundred other people had the same idea and were attempting to cross from all directions. It quickly descended into a nightmarish scrum with everyone vying for an inch of movement. As we paused to decide which way to go a few people literally pushed us aside to get past. We made progress and I turned to check on Debbie and there was a man between us. I must have shot him a murderous stare when I noticed he was beginning to impinge on Debbie’s space; literally crushing her. He told me “You’ve gotta shove to get through, ain’t you?” as way of explanation.
In response, I found myself saying, rather loudly: “Do you mind?! You’re pushing my pregnant wife!”. I decided to gloss over the fact that we’re not actually married. I deduced that the vagaries of our relationship could be excused in exchange for clarity.
“What? She’s pushing me!” came the incredulous response.
Now, I admit that Debbie herself sometimes misjudges where she ends and bumps me now and again. However, I find it impossible to believe that she is now using our unborn child as a weapon to annoy fellow revelers.
I think I berated him further before he slipped into the crowd.
I honestly don’t know who is more surprised. He for finding himself being shouted at by a six foot nutter with a pregnant wife, of me, for turning into a six foot nutter to protect my pregnant wife.
Either way, Debbie later told me that she considered throwing herself to the floor out of sheer embarrassment.